Book Review

Book Review: Girl, Stop Apologizing by Rachel Hollis

*Thank you to HarperCollins Canada for sending me a copy of this book for an honest review.

Let me start off by saying that the title of this book is what really caught my attention at first. I have heard of Rachel Hollis before, but I did not read her first book nor did I follow her on social media. Being a polite Canadian who apologizes when other people bump into me is the reason why I was drawn to the book because of the title. Girl, I really do need to stop apologizing. After reading the excerpt, I realized this book is meant for women to go after their goals and stop apologizing for their ambition. I decided to read it because I have a set of goals that I hope to achieve and thought I could use a dose of motivation.

“Girl, Stop Apologizing” is about embracing who you are and what you are meant to do without apologizing. This book tells you to stop waiting for permission and let go of excuses that stop you from moving forward. I completely agree with the main message and I fully support empowering women and going after your dreams. This book is set up into three parts: excuses to let go of, behaviors to adopt and skills to acquire. Each section draws upon the author’s personal experiences from her business, family and love life.

Unpopular book opinion time:

“Girl, Stop Apologizing” fell flat for me for a number of reasons, which I will get into shortly. The concept of the book is what I can stand behind, but it was the content that was troubling. However, I’m well aware that this book has been well received and considered helpful for many women. Did I feel more inspired and motivated when I finished this book? No, I did not. Should you read it and see for yourself? Yes, you should. 

53731941_2074801339284938_2022494670847737856_n (1).jpg

“By embracing your calling and refusing to hide your glow, you wouldn’t just make your world brighter, you’d light the way for the women who come behind you.” – Rachel Hollis

The Positives:

            I tried my best to dig for the positives and I did find a few points that are important and helpful. When it comes down to it, Rachel is a business woman. She has adopted a discipline to getting work done effectively and in a timely fashion. I did enjoy the parts where she discusses procrastination, distractions and making time for your goals despite your already hectic schedule. She does provide some helpful advice on how to go all in for your goals. One of the things that resonated with me the most was how she discusses “work environment”. Setting up a workspace is great but the reality is life becomes chaotic at times. Rachel suggests getting work done whenever you have a moment, even if it is in a cramped up space at an airport as you are waiting for your flight. While this is logical, I do think many of us believe that we will be the most productive when we are seated at our desks surrounded by motivational quotes or in a quiet café with Sam Smith playing in the background (that is what a productive workspace looks like to me at least).

I do believe that working mothers will relate to the section in which Rachel discusses the guilt of going back to work. She uses her personal experience and the emotions she felt during the time she was building her business. I found this portion of the book showed her vulnerability and it was particularly well written. Even though I am not a mother, I was able to see the world through a working mom’s eyes.

The Negatives:

I absolutely love books that focus on self-growth and development, however this book seemed to focus more on external factors. There were many pages filled with references to celebrities, weight loss, plastic surgery and appearance. I would have rather read about the internal factors that become barriers to success. While Rachel did discuss internal factors like self-confidence and self-doubt, I felt that the majority of the book brought attention to the external. The author’s wealth was another thing that stood out of the pages for me. I know the author worked hard to build her business and I’m not holding it against her for becoming a wealthy woman. It just becomes hard to relate to someone when they speak of aiming for expensive vacations and first class flights.

Rachel used personal examples to help drive her point home, but I felt like she missed the target by doing this a few times. I had a hard time relating to her experiences and her goals. One of Rachel’s goals was to make it on the New York Times bestseller list. I agree that this is an ambitious goal and good for you for reaching for the stars! Would I call it a failure that she did not end up on the NYT bestseller list right off the bat? No, I would not. However, a good portion of the chapter is dedicated to how she failed in front of eight hundred and fifty thousand people when she did not make it on the list. I had trouble seeing this as a failure; in fact I was thinking to myself how lucky she is to have been published in the first place. Discussions about the number of social media followers and bestseller lists felt like materialistic goals to me. I am also aware that all of us have our own goals that are materialistic, but when I read a self-development book I would rather be reading about goals that help you grow.

53810951_339640106673150_5403977136576921600_n.jpg

Overall, “Girl, Stop Apologizing” did have some positive points that could help motivate women to stop being ashamed of their ambition and take the step towards their dreams. There were definitely some pieces of advice that could help improve productivity. However, there were quite a few ideas that were problematic for me. I think this is one of those books that either works for you or it does not. If any of you are thinking of reading this book I hope that you will have a different experience than me. That is the beauty of books: it is all in the reader’s interpretation.

Happy reading!

Shazia.

Book Events

HCC Frenzy Presents Spring Preview 2019

This past weekend I had the opportunity to attend HCC Frenzy’s Spring Preview at HarperCollins in Toronto. Bloggers, booktubers and bookstagrammers were welcomed to HarperCollins to get a sneak peak of their spring line up of books. Being invited to an event like this felt like a dream. In fact, it took me a while to believe this was actually happening. It was only on the day of the event as I made my way through downtown Toronto on an exceptionally windy day that I realized my dream of seeing the inside of a publishing company was about to come true. If you think I’m being dramatic now just you wait!

52920244_596954384109283_2248927180643893248_n

HCC Frenzy Presents Spring Preview:

Let me start off by saying that it is a beautiful thing seeing a whole bunch of bookworms in a room together. The energy was infectious. You could find all the attendees with their phones out, adding each other on bookstagram and chatting about their excitement. I was very nervous about going to this event alone but I was overwhelmed by how kind and approachable everyone was from the moment I stepped into the building. It occurred to me how easy it is to connect with people when you share the same passion. I met so many wonderful people and had such fun conversations. The mingling and games were by far my favorite part of this event.

52913818_308506819828471_4194769346821619712_n (1)

It has been a dream of mine to step foot inside a place like this just to see where all the magic happens. What did it feel like? Well, it felt like magic of course! (Told you I would be getting more dramatic). The environment felt so calm and welcoming. The stack of books at the entrance me squeal as it displayed some of my favorite books.

HCC Frenzy Spring Lineup:

The Spring Preview was everything. And by everything I mean I wanted all of the books presented pronto/stat. We were given a short presentation on each book and you could feel the collective excitement within the room. Our TBR lists just got bigger! We were each given three ARCS in our swag bags and I was lucky enough to snag these three books:

52669956_2249279078664285_6941707631933259776_n

“The Wise and Wicked” by Rebecca Podos:
This is a Russian inspired fantasy about a family in which the women possess the magical ability to see when they will die. But what happens when one of these women passes away and the death does not match the predicted time? Does this mean the rest of the women can fight against the death date allotted to them? I mean Russian inspired magical realism with a bit of a mystery? Sign me up!

“With the Fire on High” by Elizabeth Acevedo
This is a novel about a Latina girl facing personal struggles all the while dreaming of her passion, which can be found in the kitchen. As a foodie, I appreciate this storyline already. This author is known for her highly successful book “Poet X”. Fun fact: when people gasp when they find out you haven’t read a certain book, that is a pretty good indicator that you need to get on it. I’m definitely going to read Poet X but this ARC is my priority. Until then, gasp away!

“Nocturna” by Maya Moraine
This story revolves around a face shifter and a Prince coming together to vanquish an ancient power that they unleashed into the world. Let’s be real for a second. You had me at face shifter. Maybe it’s all the Game of Thrones I watch (huge Arya Stark Fan) but I have not read another storyline quite like this one. I’m really intrigued and excited to read all the face shifting action.

Besides the three books I got, every other book presented sounded incredible. Don’t believe me? Have a look for yourself:

See? Told you they look amazing! It astonishes me how much the young adult genre has grown and how many of these books push boundaries and tackle important issues. These beauties will be released in the spring but you can preorder them and find out more about these books at HarperCollins Canada.

Each of us also got a sampler of Gena Showalter’s upcoming book “The Evil Queen”, which is a story told from the perspective of the Evil Queen from Snow White. I read the sampler on my flight home and I’m extremely interested in reading the rest. This may be the most unique retelling I’ve read based on the first two chapters in this sampler.

53036309_1927538234038237_913580689645895680_n

The Swag Bag:

Apart from all the excitement from the presentation, we were also spoiled with a swag bag that included the ARCS but also some additional items. I took my swag bag to a corner Starbucks to check out all the other contents. I was quite excited and the fellow coffee drinkers around me felt and saw the excitement. Spotted: a small Montrealer losing her mind in a Toronto Starbucks while unloading contents from a super cool tote bag. I took a proper picture when I got back to my hotel and here it is:

53362454_302775260427018_1528463712573194240_n

Angie Thomas Book Signing:

While I did not want to leave HarperCollins because I absolutely loved the vibe, it was time to see Angie Thomas at the Art Gallery of Ontario. Yes folks, I met the Queen. We took a walk together to the AGO (check me out with my Torontonian lingo) and talked all things books until we arrived. Angie is such an eloquent speaker and so effortlessly conveys the global issues regarding black lives. It was a true honor to hear her speak. I’ll just gloss over the fact that I babbled utter gibberish as she signed my book. I was that start stuck.

52913797_2960276774042634_5655445023626362880_n

Final Thoughts About Frenzy Presents:

I cannot adequately convey how much I enjoyed this event and how much the whole experience meant to me. Along with living my bookish dream, I met so many kind and talented book influencers and staff working at HarperCollins. The entire day exceeded my expectations. I’m beyond grateful for this experience and extremely eager to start reading these beautiful Arcs. Thank you to HCC Frenzy and HarperCollins for including me in this fun filled day. 

52712942_2446540942045852_6583089231495692288_n

Until next time bookworms!

Shazia.

Book Review

Help Me by Marianne Power

*Thank you to HarperCollins Canada for sending me a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

It is truly a great feeling when a book surprises you in the best of ways. “Help Me” by Marianne Power is one of those books for me. This is a true story of one woman’s quest to build the life she desperately wants through self-help books. This book will make you laugh but it will also make you reflect on the big questions asked by the author. It is equally hysterical and thought provoking. In short, it was one hell of a ride that made me laugh out loud in public (I suspect onlookers were confused as to how I was laughing so much while reading a book titled “Help Me”)

51116866_234624040813946_2855060895627739136_n(picture from @khanlibrary)

Synopsis:

“There comes a point in every woman’s life when she realizes that things cannot carry on the way they are” – Marianne Power.

On the surface, Marianne’s life seems great. She’s a thirty-six year old freelance journalist living in London. She has supportive group of family and friends. She wears designer clothes and travels often. However, deep down Marianne feels unfulfilled, lost and behind in life. As Marianne is nursing a bad hangover one Sunday morning, she comes to a realization that things need to change. She decides to turn to the world of self-help books to help her become a perfect person, with the perfect weight, living in a perfect home with a perfect life partner. The problem with this plan: there is no such thing as perfect.

Marianne embarks on a twelve-month journey in which she will read one self-help book per month. She decides that she will not only read self-help, she will DO self-help. She will follow the advice given in these books, no matter how scary it is. What follows is a year filled with uncomfortable challenges, facing fears and questioning damaging subconscious thoughts.

Does Self-Help Really Help?

“The dangerous expectation that can be created by self-help books is that if you’re not walking around like a cross between Mary Poppins, Buddha and Jesus every day you’re doing it wrong. You must try harder.” – Marianne Power

Marianne starts her self-help journey with the book “Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway” by Susan Jeffers. This book inspires her to do things that she is afraid of, and so she writes up a list of scary things she would never imagine doing. She finds herself becoming a nude model for an art class, chatting up a random man on public transport, doing stand up comedy, and skydiving. I loved reading this chapter specifically because you could really feel her fear through her writing. I know there were times when I was cringing and feeling proud of her at the same time.

Perhaps my favorite part of the book was the chapter on rejection therapy, a game created by Jason Comely in which the goal is to seek out rejection in order to overcome the fear of rejection. It was an absolute riot reading the scenes where Marianne asked for free coffee, a discount in store and asked to join strangers at cafes. Her inner dialogue is gold! This chapter was not only funny, but eye opening as well. It turns out that even when Marianne was searching for rejection, she would not always get it. People would surprise her with their kindness and openness, leaving Marianne to realize that she had gone out of her way to avoid rejection her whole life and barely lived as a result.

The Downside to Self-Help:

As her journey progresses, Marianne explores more self-help books like “The Secret” by Rhonda Byrne, “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People” by Stephen R. Covey and attended a Tony Robbins seminar called “Unleash the Power Within”. What starts as an inspirational journey becomes overwhelming and Marianne soon becomes burnt out from all the self-helping. She finds herself alone with all the voices of the authors in her head leaving her feeling even more emotionally exhausted. I really think this portion of the book is important as it shows what happens when you go too far with these books. A self-help plan can be equal parts self-growth and alienating if not done right.

As Marianne realizes her friends and family are starting to worry and pulling away, she presses pause and reexamines her commitment to reading self-help. Perhaps this is the most important part of her self-growth as she looks into her own behavior and realizes she does not have do all this on her own. That asking for help from actual people and reconnecting with the people she loves can be just as empowering. It is with this realization that she takes a giant leap forward and continues with reading what turn out to be the three books that leave the biggest impact: “The Power of Now” by Eckhart Tolle, “Daring Greatly” by Brene Brown and “You Can Heal Your Life” by Louise Hay. I believe the reason why these books made the greatest impact was because she realized a journey towards self-development does not have to be taken alone.

My Thoughts:

This book was unlike any other nonfiction book I have read before. It is deeply personal, vulnerable and hilarious. At times, it felt like I was reading a novel, mainly because of the hilarious dialogue between Marianne and her mother. The mother’s advice, skepticism and genuine concern were both hysterical and endearing.

51489546_1594364967332595_6998700748439552000_n

I found myself laughing, gasping, feeling sad and rooting for the author every step of the way. The chapters are broken down according to the self-help book the author was reading. Marianne manages to capture the biggest lessons from every book she reads. If you enjoy nonfiction books that are funny and inspiring, then this book is for you. In fact, I think this book can be for anyone. You do not have to like or even appreciate self-help books to enjoy this deeply personal story.

Happy reading!

Shazia.

 

 

 

 

 

Book Review

The Gown by Jennifer Robson

It truly takes a gifted author to write a historical fiction that not only pulls at your heartstrings but also makes you feel like you are back in that time living it through the characters. The Gown by Jennifer Robson is truly a gift that I enjoyed immensely.

This book is about survival.

While there are many themes that the author expertly covers, survival was the one that stuck with me till the very last page.

There are many books that are written about the war or during the war, but The Gown focuses on the aftermath. It focuses on how people pick up the pieces of their lives and rebuild brick by brick. It is about friendship, love, creation, PTSD and a person’s legacy. The Gown takes us on this journey as each of the main characters experience life altering events that take them to places they would have never imagined.

50964416_803340723344102_7305638249785982976_n(photo from @khanlibrary)

Synopsis:

“Millions will welcome this joyous event as a flash of color on the long road we have to travel.”—Sir Winston Churchill on the news of Princess Elizabeth’s forthcoming wedding

London 1947: A brutal winter, rationing of resources and tragic memories leaves many people feeling the harsh aftermath of World War II. Ann Hughes and Miriam Dassin are embroiderers working for Norman Hartell, the famous designer who has been chosen to make the wedding gown for Princess Elizabeth. Ann and Miriam, each weighed down by memories of their past, set to work on the gown for the royal wedding. They become closer, forging a friendship that will help them both during their darkest times.

Toronto 2016: Heather Mackenzie is mourning the death of her grandmother. While helping her mother go through her Nan’s things, she discovers a box with her name on it containing embroidered flowers that resemble the flowers on Queen Elizabeth’s wedding gown. Heather knows very little about her Nan’s past, but with some digging she discovers a clue that leads her to believe that her Nan once helped create the Queen’s dress. Heather boards a plane to London in search of the answers to her questions.

Themes:

I always wondered how the people living during this time were able to rebuild their lives after the brutality of WWII. How difficult it must have been for the survivors to carry the knowledge that their loved ones had died in concentration camps? How did the world heal? The Gown shows us that friendship can be the foundation of survival and moving on. The author takes us through what post-war London would have looked like through the eyes of fictional characters Ann Hughes and Miriam Dassin. We read about their long workdays as they stitched and embroidered the gown for the royal wedding. As we read along, we see a beautiful friendship developing between these two strong women.

The theme of survival guilt is also explored in this story as we are shown how the survivors feel guilt about roaming free in the new world while their families were brutalized and murdered. This kind of guilt is portrayed expertly in the story and it shows how breaking down the walls people put up to protect themselves and letting someone in can be the first step into acceptance of the past and moving forward.

 “It was hard, at times to ignore the disquieting voices that told her she was fooling herself, that she would empty herself into this misguided project, and when she finished, it would be to find that no one was interested. That no one on earth, apart from her, cared to know what had happened to those she loved” – Jennifer Robson

Another theme that is beautifully depicted is how art and creation have their own healing powers, not just for the creators but also for those viewing the art. The royal wedding was held during a time of despair, as if to give a spark of light to the nation that was shrouded in darkness for far too long. The Gown would become a piece of art that captures the interest of the onlookers, but also provided it’s own kind of therapy to Miriam and Ann as they worked tirelessly on it.

Overall Thoughts:

The Gown was a truly breathtaking book to read. Everything was so descriptive that it felt like I could see the scenes in my head. I could almost see Ann and Miriam hunched over their frames in their coveralls stitching the elaborate flower star designs onto the gown. I could feel the emotions they were feeling. I could feel Ann’s heartbreak, Miriam’s guilt and Heather’s loss. I also enjoyed the way the story jumped from past to present and how we learn details of Ann and Miriam’s lives through Heather’s search for answers. This book had a lot of heart and it pulled many tears from me.

In many ways, this book reminds us that when elaborate gowns are made, so much of the credit goes to the designer and hardly any goes towards the ones who worked on the embroidery. I have a newfound appreciation for all those dedicated souls who put all their time and love into the delicate details that are what makes a dress beautiful. Now if you will excuse me, I’m going to Google images of Queen Elizabeth’s wedding gown to admire the embroidery.

Check out The Gown at Chapters Indigo.

Happy reading!

Shazia.

Book Review

Book Review: Notes on a Nervous Planet by Matt Haig

Publisher: HarperCollins

I would like to thank HarperCollins Canada for sending me a copy of Notes on a Nervous Planet by Matt Haig in exchange for an honest review.

This was an inspiring and thought-provoking book to read. It is truly refreshing when an author shares his or her personal journey with readers. To feel an author’s vulnerability in their writing is a beautiful thing and to reflect on your own life afterwards is where the magic happens.

Matt Haig is one of those authors that takes you along on his personal journey and helps you understand the lessons he learned along the way. This book explores the link between anxiety, stress and our modern world. It is not just meant for the Millennials or the Generation Y group. This book is aimed for all humans who live on this nervous planet.

50060818_367962354005365_2742712402364596224_n(picture from instagram @khanlibrary)

Notes on a Nervous Planet

We have come a long way when it comes to discussing mental health. However, in this book Matt points out an interesting thing that we do when people discuss their mental health issues. He discusses how people continue to say things like “You are so brave for sharing your story”. As pointed out in the book, it should not be thought of as being brave for someone to have shared his or her struggles. It should be considered normal.

I paused when I read this and thought back to all the times I used a similar phrase when reading or listening to someone’s story. It’s a completely valid point that I thought should be shared. While there were many themes in this book, I would like to discuss the three big ones that stood out for me: Technology overload, loss of connection and life overload.

Technology Overload:

We live in a chaotic, overly stimulating and faced paced world. More than ever before we are being bombarded with notifications from the overwhelming amount of apps we have on our phones. We have to comb through text messages, whatsapp messages, emails, tweets, direct messages and Facebook messenger messages. Matt describes how this can be anxiety provoking. He describes the feeling of being on high alert while waiting for text messages or when receiving new notifications. We are constantly plugged in and being distracted.

Matt acknowledges how hard it can be to distance yourself from your phone and he shares his own struggles. However, he provides useful tips on how to control social media time rather than letting it control you. He recognizes the struggles with advancing technology, but also acknowledges the positives. This book does not bash technology and blame it all for our unhappiness. On the contrary, it presents the problems we may face and provides us with advice on how to create a space to foster peace and shape the life we want.

Loss of Connection:

Matt describes how the rise of the Internet and social media makes us more connected but also physically draws us further apart. An interesting point is made about how many things that pulled us out of our homes in the past are now available on the Internet. It is also so much easier to communicate with friends and family via Skype and Facetime rather than putting all that effort into getting out into the world to meet them. Loneliness seems to be one of the side effects of social media. I loved how Matt offers readers tips on how to remain human in a world that has become addicted to cell phones. It resonated with me as I sometimes find myself scanning the the people on the bus and counting how many of them have their cell phones in their hands, myself included.

Life Overload:

Matt refers to our world as a global nervous system. We are connected in more ways than ever thanks to technology like the Internet and the telephone. I think one of the most interesting points of this book was that because we have become so globally connected, we might feel emotions collectively through this large nervous system. We feel the group’s emotions and these emotions become our own. We get reminded of a time when we got our news with the morning newspaper and the evening news. That’s it. Just twice a day.

These days, news coverage goes beyond the newspaper and CNN. It is also present in the trending topics of Facebook, discussed on Twitter, shared on Instagram and Google news offers us a plethora of news articles to comb through. There is definitely an information overload, especially when the news being presented revolves around topics that sadden or frighten us. This book explains how it can be anxiety provoking, leading us to stress more and become anxious over the impending doom that may befall on us.

My Thoughts:

This was such an enjoyable book to read. I really can’t say that there is anything that I disliked about this book. It was broken down into sections that are quick and easy to read. There are many themes that are explored through funny anecdotes, lists and short discussions. It was an honest and insightful account about how to live your best life possible in a modern world that is designed to make you feel anxious. It is about creating a space of peace for yourself, to unplug and live in the moment. I think we could all benefit from Matt Haig’s reminders and advice. Highly recommended!

Happy reading,

Shazia.

Book Review

Educated by Tara Westover

How incredible is it when you randomly pick up a book at a bookstore, reading nothing but the excerpt and that very book leaves a profound impact on you? I had no idea what I was getting myself into when I picked up this book. “Educated” by Tara Westover is one of the most thought-provoking and beautifully written memoirs I have read in a long time.

43406040_2278736389028572_6749041656802050048_n

Summary:

“All my life those instincts had been instructing me in this single doctrine: that the odds were better if you rely only on yourself”.

Tara was born into a survivalist family in the mountains of Idaho. She lived in a home with five siblings and a mother and father who did not believe in formal education or medicine. Eventually, her father’s Mormon beliefs became extreme, as did his paranoia about the government coming after them. Her father worked in a junkyard and planned for the “end of days” by hoarding food and guns. Her mother became a midwife and cured many of the their ailments with herbalism. Tara recounts a childhood full of injuries that did not receive any medical attention. Her father believed the medical profession was the work of satan and trusted his wife’s herbalism, which he called “God’s pharmacy”. She watched as her family members suffered severe burns from gasoline explosions and traumatic brain injuries from car accidents. Her mother treated these injuries with herbalism in their home. In later years, Tara recounts how many of the injuries left a few of their family members with altered personalities due to brain damage, something none of them considered at the time.

Between living with her father’s paranoia and one of her brother’s escalating violence, Tara decides to pursue an education. She teaches herself algebra and trigonometry in preparation for a university admissions test. She manages to escape the violent outbursts of her brother, but she carries the memories of each violent act with her as she attends university. She also carries with her the knowledge that her father condones her pursuit of an education. Tara furthers her education and eventually finds herself in Cambridge. Her world begins to shift as her professors try to make her see her own potential. However, Tara’s guilt about going against her father’s wishes and losing ties to her family get a hold on her and threaten to hold her back or revert to her old ways time and time again.

Education:

“You are not fool’s gold, shining only under a particular light. Whomever you become, whatever you make yourself into, that is who you always were. It was always in you. Not in Cambridge. In you. You are gold. And returning to BYU, or even to that mountain you came from, will not change who you are. It may change how others see you, it may even change how you see yourself—even gold appears dull in some lighting—but that is the illusion. And it always was.” 

My favorite part of this book was when Tara found herself in a classroom for the first time in seventeen years. We read about her experiences as she learns about the Holocaust and the true horrors of slavery. We are taken through her emotions and how she processes all the gruesome details as she reads the history books. Perhaps the most profound moment is when she learns about Bipolar Disorder and as the professor is listing the symptoms, her father comes to her mind. She continues on the path of realization as she is taught the symptoms of brain injury and thinks about her mother and how she was never the same after their car accident. Through this education, she understands her family better and starts understanding where her father’s paranoia and episodes of grandeur and persecution come from.

Her journey was not easy as she pursued her education. It is truly inspiring to read about how she overcame her feelings of inadequacy, self-doubt and insecurity over the lack of previous education.

Physical and emotional abuse:

“He said positive liberty is self-mastery—the rule of the self, by the self. To have positive liberty, he explained, is to take control of one’s own mind; to be liberated from irrational fears and beliefs, from addictions, superstitions and all other forms of self-coercion.” 

Reading about the emotional and physical abuse at the hands of Tara’s brother was very hard to read, but it was also one of the most important parts of the book. It was even harder to read about how her family denied any of the abuse actually happening, and how her mother turned a blind eye to it rather than face the brutal reality. Her brother’s violence escalates as she gets older and instead of seeking help she learns to laugh it off or tell herself he had reason. It takes a while for her to realize how dangerous her brother was becoming, and by then a lot of the damage was already done. The really interesting part of this portion of the book is how her personal perspective of what happened during these violent moments do not match with the narrative her parents feed her. She resorts to going back to her journals and really asking herself if these violent incidents happened the way she remembers them. It was fascinating to read about how she learns to trust her memory and protect herself.

Family:

“You can love someone and still choose to say goodbye to them,” she says now. “You can miss a person every day, and still be glad that they are no longer in your life.” 

Family is really at the heart of Tara’s story. At times it was painful to read about how much she loved her family but how hard she tried to keep those ties from breaking. From her older brother Tyler she found the strength to pursue her education and from him she found a pillar of support when her family was turning their backs on her. Her father believed she was “taken by Lucifer” and tried time and time again to bring her back to her previous life on the mountain. Many times he succeeded but he was never able to stop her from getting her education. Tara struggled with loyalties and sense of duty, but she also recognized her family environment for what it had become: toxic. Though you get a glimpse of a father and mother’s love for their daughter, you also see how sometimes that is not enough. I loved the relationship Tara had with her brother Tyler and how sometimes a simple nudge from a family member you look up to can be life changing.

Final thoughts:

This story is not about Mormonism and Tara makes that perfectly clear from the beginning. It is about reconstructing yourself, dealing with the loss of family and how education can change you. It is about believing in yourself, overcoming your struggles and learning how to shed the weight of your past. There is so much you can learn from this book. It is almost impossible to list all the themes. Educated is not an easy book to read. It is punches you in the gut and takes you along someone’s personal journey. It is like reading a diary and peering into the household of a family in the Idaho Mountains.