Book Review: Girl, Stop Apologizing by Rachel Hollis

*Thank you to HarperCollins Canada for sending me a copy of this book for an honest review.

Let me start off by saying that the title of this book is what really caught my attention at first. I have heard of Rachel Hollis before, but I did not read her first book nor did I follow her on social media. Being a polite Canadian who apologizes when other people bump into me is the reason why I was drawn to the book because of the title. Girl, I really do need to stop apologizing. After reading the excerpt, I realized this book is meant for women to go after their goals and stop apologizing for their ambition. I decided to read it because I have a set of goals that I hope to achieve and thought I could use a dose of motivation.

“Girl, Stop Apologizing” is about embracing who you are and what you are meant to do without apologizing. This book tells you to stop waiting for permission and let go of excuses that stop you from moving forward. I completely agree with the main message and I fully support empowering women and going after your dreams. This book is set up into three parts: excuses to let go of, behaviors to adopt and skills to acquire. Each section draws upon the author’s personal experiences from her business, family and love life.

Unpopular book opinion time:

“Girl, Stop Apologizing” fell flat for me for a number of reasons, which I will get into shortly. The concept of the book is what I can stand behind, but it was the content that was troubling. However, I’m well aware that this book has been well received and considered helpful for many women. Did I feel more inspired and motivated when I finished this book? No, I did not. Should you read it and see for yourself? Yes, you should. 

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“By embracing your calling and refusing to hide your glow, you wouldn’t just make your world brighter, you’d light the way for the women who come behind you.” – Rachel Hollis

The Positives:

            I tried my best to dig for the positives and I did find a few points that are important and helpful. When it comes down to it, Rachel is a business woman. She has adopted a discipline to getting work done effectively and in a timely fashion. I did enjoy the parts where she discusses procrastination, distractions and making time for your goals despite your already hectic schedule. She does provide some helpful advice on how to go all in for your goals. One of the things that resonated with me the most was how she discusses “work environment”. Setting up a workspace is great but the reality is life becomes chaotic at times. Rachel suggests getting work done whenever you have a moment, even if it is in a cramped up space at an airport as you are waiting for your flight. While this is logical, I do think many of us believe that we will be the most productive when we are seated at our desks surrounded by motivational quotes or in a quiet café with Sam Smith playing in the background (that is what a productive workspace looks like to me at least).

I do believe that working mothers will relate to the section in which Rachel discusses the guilt of going back to work. She uses her personal experience and the emotions she felt during the time she was building her business. I found this portion of the book showed her vulnerability and it was particularly well written. Even though I am not a mother, I was able to see the world through a working mom’s eyes.

The Negatives:

I absolutely love books that focus on self-growth and development, however this book seemed to focus more on external factors. There were many pages filled with references to celebrities, weight loss, plastic surgery and appearance. I would have rather read about the internal factors that become barriers to success. While Rachel did discuss internal factors like self-confidence and self-doubt, I felt that the majority of the book brought attention to the external. The author’s wealth was another thing that stood out of the pages for me. I know the author worked hard to build her business and I’m not holding it against her for becoming a wealthy woman. It just becomes hard to relate to someone when they speak of aiming for expensive vacations and first class flights.

Rachel used personal examples to help drive her point home, but I felt like she missed the target by doing this a few times. I had a hard time relating to her experiences and her goals. One of Rachel’s goals was to make it on the New York Times bestseller list. I agree that this is an ambitious goal and good for you for reaching for the stars! Would I call it a failure that she did not end up on the NYT bestseller list right off the bat? No, I would not. However, a good portion of the chapter is dedicated to how she failed in front of eight hundred and fifty thousand people when she did not make it on the list. I had trouble seeing this as a failure; in fact I was thinking to myself how lucky she is to have been published in the first place. Discussions about the number of social media followers and bestseller lists felt like materialistic goals to me. I am also aware that all of us have our own goals that are materialistic, but when I read a self-development book I would rather be reading about goals that help you grow.

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Overall, “Girl, Stop Apologizing” did have some positive points that could help motivate women to stop being ashamed of their ambition and take the step towards their dreams. There were definitely some pieces of advice that could help improve productivity. However, there were quite a few ideas that were problematic for me. I think this is one of those books that either works for you or it does not. If any of you are thinking of reading this book I hope that you will have a different experience than me. That is the beauty of books: it is all in the reader’s interpretation.

Happy reading!

Shazia.

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