I notice an acquaintance, let’s call her Jane, clutching a book to her chest. It is bright yellow and I immediately recognize it.

Me: “Are you reading, “You are a Badass” by Jen Sincero?”

Jane: “Oh, yeah I am. I got it as a gift or else I would never pick it up myself. I usually don’t do self-help books”.

Me: “I loved that book! I read it twice”

Jane: “Oh really? That’s good. I hope I enjoy it. I don’t care for self-help books, but it seems funny”.

It is then that I notice the subtle signs of discomfort: her nervous laugh, the way she hides the title by holding it to her chest and how she shifts from one foot to another. Not to mention, she states she doesn’t care for self-help books twice.

This whole interaction made me wonder: Is there a stigma when it comes to reading self-help books?

I have seen it a few times over the years. Discomfort when someone sees me reading a self-help book. Sometimes it’s an eye-roll, other times I see an eyebrow raising and a few times it’s been a downright “you read that stuff?”

Well, yes I do. In fact, I love this “stuff”.

The Good News:

In the last few years, I have seen more enthusiasm related to self-help books. I have seen these books on display more often than before. I have listened to podcasts with the authors from this genre discussing their books. I have also seen these books included in popular book clubs. More of these kinds of books are shared on platforms like bookstagram and goodreads.
Chapters Indigo even has a section called “The Wellness Shop”, which features a whole array of self-help books related to self-development, meditation, coping with anxiety and alleviating stress. I have met people who asked questions about self-help books. I have had lengthy discussions about the themes and topics covered by the authors regarding mental health. This often leads to stories being shared about our personal struggles and how we incorporated teachings from these books into our lives. These are the conversations we need more of in our lives.

The Resistance:

What makes some people uncomfortable about being seen in the self-help section of the bookstore? What makes some people uncomfortable about reading their self-help books in public? Is it the idea that seeking these books is a form of weakness? Is it the fear of judgment from others?

I truly believe that people’s resistance to self-help books is basically centered on a lack of knowledge about this genre. Some people may think these books are filled with schemes. Others may think these books provide a false notion of “you will be fixed by the end of Chapter 20”. A few may even believe that there is nothing written that we don’t already know.

There may be some truth to these ideas. I’m not saying all self-help books are wonderful and contain pixie dust that will “bippity boppity boo” away all your insecurities and struggles. What I am saying is the genre itself deserves to be treated with an open mind. So next time you see someone roll their eyes or raise an eyebrow so high it looks like it’s about to shoot off their forehead, maybe try to have a discussion. Maybe ask the person why they dislike self-help books. Share why you like this particular book you are reading. You don’t have to change their mind or bring them over to your side, but sometimes a conversation can lead to openness or just a great book related conversation.

My Favorite Self-Help Books

I can’t do a blog post about this genre and not include some of my favorites.
Here are some of the self-help books that I found immensely important and life changing. I believe that for a self-help book to be a success, you need to feel a certain level of vulnerability from the author. You also have to be willing to feel your own vulnerability. Here is my top five list:

1) Good Vibes, Good Life – Vex King

(photo from @khanlibrary)

I have been gushing about this book since Christmas to everyone who will listen to me and I have no intention to stop anytime soon. Vex King is such a gifted author who shares his own life experiences and the lessons he learned along the way. I love books that promote self-love and positive vibes.

2) Daring Greatly – Brene Brown

(photo from @khanlibrary)

Brene Brown spent twelve years getting up close and personal with vulnerability. She shares her years of research and her own personal struggles with vulnerability and helps us realize that vulnerability is where courage can be found. There is so much to learn from this book as it left me reflecting on my own thoughts and experiences.

3) The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck – Mark Manson

(photo from @khanlibrary)

While many self-help books and social media quotes focus solely on positivity, Mark Manson discusses the importance on how to stop being positive all the time so that we can truly become happier people. It is an interesting concept about how we need to fully feel our sad moments in order to move forward.

4) You are a Badass – Jen Sincero

(photo from @khanlibrary)

This book is badass! The author has a great way of weaving humour and real life experiences to ultimately help readers love their badass selves. Lots of laugh out loud moments and advice that makes you think about living your best life.

5) Unlearn: 101 Simple Truths for a Better Life – Humble the Poet

This book is a collection of writings and insightful quotes to remind you of your potential and ways of thinking to deal with whatever life throws your way. I loved the little lessons that were shared. This book is both insightful and motivational.

Final Thoughts:
We have come a long way as mental health awareness is being discussed more and many authors are stepping forward with their stories. Is there a stigma? I believe we are seeing less and less of it. There may always be some level of discomfort either from the reader or from the outside world. What’s important is that we keep talking about it and sharing the message from these books. Sometimes all people need is a gentle reminder of self-love from authors who want to spread their message and help the heal the world one page at a time.

Happy reading!

Shazia.